excuse for love

Is it just a prayer in the night or my dreams that are constantly shattering? I feel everything inside me shake and shiver and I acan not help but wonder if it is you or just the thought, the idea of you and what you could be. You are so incredibly wrong for me and yet I have loved you since the moment my eyes were laid on you. Now that I can not see you anymore... now i long for you more... more since I can not see you and you are not there. I can not poke my head around a corner and barely catch a glimpse of your captivating eyes. God I miss you.

Why do i love you? Why you...It is not supposed to happen like that..it is not supposed to... oh never mind. I can not be who i thought i might be... maybe it is just time I accept that... maybe it is time for me to grow up and quit hiding behind excuses... god knows i fucking have enough of them. I got an excuse for everything in my life...except for my life.

If I had an excuse for that then it might not be anymore.