excuse for love

Is it just a prayer in the night or my dreams that are constantly shattering? I feel everything inside me shake and shiver and I acan not help but wonder if it is you or just the thought, the idea of you and what you could be. You are so incredibly wrong for me and yet I have loved you since the moment my eyes were laid on you. Now that I can not see you anymore... now i long for you more... more since I can not see you and you are not there. I can not poke my head around a corner and barely catch a glimpse of your captivating eyes. God I miss you.

Why do i love you? Why you...It is not supposed to happen like that..it is not supposed to... oh never mind. I can not be who i thought i might be... maybe it is just time I accept that... maybe it is time for me to grow up and quit hiding behind excuses... god knows i fucking have enough of them. I got an excuse for everything in my life...except for my life.

If I had an excuse for that then it might not be anymore.

world crumble

There is a world outside my window that I am al ittle to frightened to cross into. I am scared of everysteo I take. Will the ground fall out from below my feet?

Will anything I ever do matter?

What the fuck is the point of you. You ar ein my life and I no nothing about you and although you think you do know something about me, really you know nothing. You are nothing. You are everything I never want to be.

There, aren't you special?

Do feel you better now? I talked about you and since we all know the world revolves around and will never crumble out from under your feet maybe we should all just kiss your fucking ass and hope that it is strong enough for all of us to follow you around, you fucking gods and goddesses of the world which count for nothing more than the headaches that you leave when you walk out hte door.